How To Cultivate Mindfulness and Presence
- Apr 7
- 3 min read
Kristina Romero, MA., LMHC
Cultivating mindfulness means developing a skill that enables you to be aware and fully present. The U.S. Army introduced the term "soft skills" in 1972 to describe abilities that aren't tied to tools or technology, but instead relate to how we lead, respond to pressure, handle chaos, and cope with trauma. These skills are interpersonal, emotional, and adaptive, unlike "hard skills," which we can teach and measure.
Although you can research personal and knowledge-based skills endlessly, the challenge is learning how to access and apply them. We take in so much information, but how do we use it? What does being present actually mean? Does it mean acknowledging a full mind, or does it simply mean being there for others when they need you? True mindfulness goes beyond the literal—it's about focusing your awareness in the current moment, regardless of distractions or disruptions.
We choose what we pay attention to—touch, smell, sound, taste, and the things we see. Often, we don't engage our senses intentionally; instead, we let distractions and devices, like smartphones and earbuds, capture our focus. We crave immediate rewards and drama, which means we rarely just enjoy the moment. When we constantly respond to the demands of family, work, and technology, we lose the opportunity to be present.
If you can keep track of your work tasks, plan dinner, and remember date night or your latest dietary goals, you can also check in with yourself and pay attention to what your mind, body, and soul need. People often notice when someone isn't present—sometimes a partner or child says, "You're always on your phone." Our common retort is, "I'm here, I come home every day, I hear you, we watch movies and eat together." Yet, our devices behave like new family members, demanding attention and diminishing our presence.
We have internal tools to navigate life and be present, but many of us struggle to access them. Criticism and self-doubt often block our attempts, making us believe we can't succeed, so we don't even start. Life's challenges—including fear, panic, and anxiety—can further prevent us from connecting with what we naturally possess.
Have you ever heard, "You're present but not present?" Your body might be in the room, but your mind wanders to worries about work, drifts through cyberspace, or escapes to imagined destinations. This is "mind full," not mindful. Fortunately, you can learn and practice skills to increase mindfulness—just like Yoda, you can become one with yourself and your environment.
Start with something simple: breathe. While breathing happens automatically, intentional, focused, and natural breathing cultivates mindfulness. First responders and busy professionals should remember there's no quick fix—repetitive and conscious practice builds muscle memory and strengthens the skill of being present.
Tools.... Slow down that nervous system. Patrick McGowen’s “Oxygen Cure” is a great starting point and resource ya’ll can relate to. If you can’t afford audible or Barnes and Noble, or fancy equipment, try a few other things I’m going to suggest.
Easier to listen than read and practice:
Mindfulness Meditation 5 minutes- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff8kwrXMD38
Feeling Safe within my body meditation- https://youtu.be/0s6flkqWoXQ?si=cxv34txNjeLoT263
Box Breathing- https://health.clevelandclinic.org/box-breathing-benefits
Grounding Tools:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Earthing
(tap into those 5 senses-sight, touch, sound, smell, taste and just notice)
Walking outside barefoot in the dirt or the grass
Laying on the ground
Going swimming, taking a bath, feet in river/lake/ocean
Gardening
Using grounding mats, blankets, patches, and socks
Wishing you love, wellness, and prosperity in your pursuit of happiness!
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